Family is a strange mixed bag

Everyone has heard the phrase; You can't chose your family, only your friends, or at least something along that line. This morning I read an email from my cousin. It was a detail, thought out list of why one of our younger cousins was not invited to her baby shower. Besides the fact that she's only 15, it's not a family event per say, but one hosted at a friend of my cousin's. This younger cousin of mine, we refer to as The Brat. She is one. Very selfish, and manipulative. I know that every family has a black sheep. Lord knows when I was a teenager, I was considered it. Then Eldest uncle's older daughter was sorta one, we actually called her the 'most frustrated teenager alive' She dealt with her disfunctional parents fairly well, then the younger daughter became a tramp. Well what can you say if that girl receives thong underwear from a boy for a Christmas gift at the age of 16? Now The Brat is a motherless child. That in itself was not a good situation, but her older sisters are motherless too. They have rallied together and tried to keep things going. Their dad, well he's our family's version of Peter from Family Guy. My poor deceased aunt was raising 4 kids not 3 natural born ones.

The Brat has given me difficulties too. I don't care much for her. She lies, and steals from us. When given discipline, she still goes about her way. Peter is a non existent father. He just lives there. No help from his end. Instead youngest uncle, middle uncle, my cousin, her husband, and my mom help out as much as they can. So my cousin was harassed by various members of the family for not inviting The Brat to her baby shower. I can understand the decision. There is just so much more that has led to this, than just the recent passing of my grandmother and youngest aunt.

What bothers me the most is that the extended family is drifting apart. Egg and his wife are in Manhattan, we are here, Eldest uncle has his selfish ass up his butt, his wife is a hag, his children are being raised to think of themselves first, well except his oldest daughter, she's treated like someone that owes them, and has to pay her way for everything. Eldest Aunt feels that the family doesn't care about her, and only her friends matter. Middle uncle is starting to come out of his shell and actually have a life, but how much of one can he have if he's raising youngest aunt's kids for Peter? Youngest uncle is constantly driving up to visit, bringing my mom with him. My mom is always trying to get everyone to act peacefully at family gatherings in her house. My cousin and I always knew that when grandma passed away, it would be harder to keep the extended family together. Then the double whammy of youngest aunt passing away a week later didn't help.

As we get older, we set upon our own roads. We celebrate with our immediate families. Goof has a hard time understanding this as he's never had a close extended family, and honestly he's happier without his mother in his life. Well he gave me grief a while back when I told him, she was calling my cell phone and I chose to delete the messages. He railed at me, because he didn't know if she was okay or not. Of course he could have just shut his mouth and called her to inquire about her health, instead of expecting me to care for her. I tried, it's not happening again. Don't like it, take care of it yourself, or we can split. I carried that burden for many years without help from him. I may have been raised with the family first sensibility, but there are limits.

As I get older and my parents do to, I worry about them. Especially since I live so far away. But then again, I have a brother. I was available for my parents for many years, it's his turn now. No matter what he thinks. Hey, our culture valued males over girls. Shove that in your piehole. Would I want to head back to CA and care for parents? Or leave that option to my brother? Will my son become an adult, and all the aunts and uncles split and no longer spend holidays with each other? I don't know. A lot has changed this last year. Many more changes will happen too. I'm saddened by it all.