Redneck supplies

We went on a little weekend trip to Montgomery, Alabama. We thought parts of Georgia were country and redneck hillbilly hick. Well Alabama is another story. On the way back we stopped off at Shelton's to get some redneck supplies (fireworks) I couldn't understand the clerk. His accent was such that I didn't catch him the first time he told us, we got free fireworks with the amount we spent. Goof laughed at me. His comment, they talk too damned slow for him. We think faster than they speak, which means they must really think slow?

OMG the food. Had lunch at a cafe called Country Pride. The salad bar consisted of cut iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, chopped egg, red onions, and pickles. That was it in the veggie selection. No mushrooms, peas, carrots, or bell peppers even. There were lots of cold salads, potato, egg, tuna? Ewww! Scariest part? Alabama's state color must be rust. I'll leave you to ponder that.