Calmer this morning

I am trying to be objective about this situation with Droopy and her son. The main issue is that she does not recognize the personal boundaries of other people. If Stinky were to approach someone and ask to do something, whether it be to enter a home, or ask a child to play, it is certainly within the rights of the adult to deny him. If he came to me with his feelings hurt, I would remind him that is their prerogative. She is hurt that my child does not want to play with her child. I understand that and sympathize with her. I can stand back and see that for whatever reasons Babymama does not want her children playing with my son. Again this is the adult's choice. My choice would be that a child has the right to play or not play with any child, unless that child endangers my child's physical or mental well being. I.E. language, or physical actions. I can be upset that my child was turned away, especially without given a reason. I tried to talk to Babymama, but was never able to discuss this with her. So our relationship is at best strained and civil.

Now back to Whinis. He intruded upon our personal privacy. If an adult tells a child, they can not come in to use the bathroom, then the resolution should be the parent telling the child, not to intrude upon the residence again. This is the home owner's decision. It is not a large obstacle especially since he lives only 3 houses away. Also another point. Whinis did not say he wanted to play with my child, but that he needed to use the bathroom. At no point did he qualify the request with wanting to play with my child. Droopy has altered the story to fit her needs. Her son was not at the home. He was in Big Red's house. Then he stopped off at her house to tell her where he was going. So at anytime he could have made a stop in his bathroom.

Droopy admitted that she asked Big Red's mother if her child had used their bathroom. This was answered in the positive. Supposedly, this is where she left it. Question answered end of story. This was not the end. The reason why I know it is such, was that both Big Red and his sister Kitty Kat made comments on two different days referring to our 'Superiority issue' Somehow this disagreement between adults involved another family. Casual victims. When I called her on this, she denied the accusation telling me that she had not mentioned it to the children, then she admitted that her words were said to her son. Which I'm sure this took place in front of the other children.

At no point did I threaten her, her comments to me were rather hurtful. Comments of how she is aware my husband makes quite a bit of money, and we had made money in CA, and since we feel superior, we should go back. I did not respond to these comments, but the facts are we made a choice to come out here. We have bought a home and trying to build ties to this community. This was my fault. Trying to make connections in my neighborhood, town, and state. I was willing to be generous and accepting. Also to a point lonely.

I told her that I have a deeper sense of privacy than she does. Her willingness to share details of her life are her own. I was willing to listen to what she had to say, but I chose not to share many private details to her. It takes me longer to open up and share all. Hell I don't share everything with my mother, and she has more of a right than Droopy does. What her actions were telling me was that my sense of privacy was inconsequential to her child's bowel movements. I was upset of course and I told her, perhaps this is a toilet training issue. Or on another even more degrading issue, the cleanliness of her home. This offended her. She felt it was not an issue of toilet training, nor an issue of cleanliness, since her child preferred to use his own bathroom. At this response I answered back, 'It doesn't seem that is the case, if your child is using other bathrooms instead of going home, which would only take a minute if less.'

The whole of our argument is really ridiculous. I should have risen above the fray and just chose to ignore it all. Then again, I did do that, and we got the comment of 'superiority' What this all proved was that Goof was correct. From the first meeting to the last visit with her. He has felt that she enjoys the drama. The need to cause a scene. It gives her a sense of importance. Somehow he believes she has a sense of inferiority and has to prove it constantly. Whether it be touting her 'high IQ', Whinis' test scores, or what experiences she may or may not have actually lived. Her reactions indicate the need to feel accepted, intelligent, and or correct.

Some of these stories she has related to me, others I have heard through the children. One of the stories that always sends Goof off into laughter is her martial arts skills. I have mentioned that I took some martial arts myself, and that Stinky was instructed also, and to boot, by an instructor who has the distinction of being involved with the major movies of martial arts - Matrix, and Kill Bill. I admit, it wasn't to brag necessarily, but just mentioning that the instructor was very strict and exacting while Stinky was learning. She never told me about the many styles of martial arts she knows, whereas the other children have told us about it. Bragging? Not bragging? Exaggerating to get children to co operate? Goof says the best ending to his last interaction with her, would have been to ask her to name the fighting styles she knows or name one hundred moves. He says this because he had a hard time keeping a straight face while she was telling her son, what moves to pull on Barney, should he try to throw debris at Whinis again.

All this drama over the basic privacy levels I have, versus her son's need to walk into a house when he chooses. She says that is not the case, but the fact that my son speaks dismissively to her child. Again, speaking from experience, Stinky has been hurt when older children did not want to play with him. I have told him that it is not a good idea for children with at least 3 years age difference to play together unless the children are related. When Stinky was 8 he wanted to play with children 12 and older. I reminded him that it was not a good idea, and not to push the issue. Obviously Droopy does not see this delineation mark. Her comments are telling as she told me Big Red's mother does not want her oldest son spending time with Droopy. She feels that a high school senior should not be talking to an almost 40 year old woman. She is correct. I would not want my son to spend time talking to Droopy. It is not acceptable. If the woman was a therapist, or counselor, yes. If Stinky were to hang out with my adult cousins, yes that is acceptable. It is family, not the next door neighbor you have only known for 2 years. There is a fine line with teenage boys and adult women. We see it on the news all the time.

Goof asked me this morning not to interact with her again. I told him, I was not interested in any contact with her, whether by phone or in person. We will do the same thing we have done with Enabler, we politely ignore each other. No need to wave or greet each other.

A resolution to the kid that needs to shit in homes other than his

Yesterday I phoned Droopy. I left a message for her to call me back, as I wanted to know if the 3 family Thanksgiving was still on. Well she called me back while I was on the phone with my friend in CA. I didn't get the voicemail until this morning. It took me 3 tries to listen to the whole rambling message without getting upset. Basically, she feels that her son is not wanted so she and her husband are not wanted. God forbid if any of them need to use the bathroom, but can't because I don't want them to use my bathroom. She's dropped me from the family dinner, and repeated herself twice in the message our family is not wanted, only Big Red's family. Well yea, of course his family is wanted, she gets what she wants from them, whether it's her son taking a shit in their house, walking in without knocking to play on their computer, or even to the generosity of the mom letting Droopy borrow her car to drive to FL for their cruise. Oh and she asked some friends hypothetically what they would do, and her friends are in agreement with her. Of course, it's her version of the incident, and not mine since she wasn't there. Remember this woman never goes outside, always has her drapes and windows closed.

Yea, well my friends agree with me based on my version of the incident. I asked my friend in CA, a friend in Chi-town, my mom, even MIL. Goof has asked a couple of people about it. So it's not a CA thing, it's a basic social faux pas.

I'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around all this. She said in her voice mail that she did not cause this to happen. My decision to not allow her kid to shit in MY HOUSE brought this all about. I'm not upset that over the two of us not communicating, we would talk maybe once a week. I'm upset that she had the audacity to believe her child has the right to shit in another person's house just because he needs to. I'm upset that her child was denied access into my home when I'm alone, so he ran home to tell his mommy that I wouldn't let him shit in my house. Because ultimately he wants in my house to do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm pissed off because she has no social etiquette to tell her child that it was wrong to ask a neighbor to shit in their house knowing he lives 3 houses away, and his parent was home.

Honestly, this is something that I will be dwelling on for a while. I will tell you that I did not take the bait. I called back and left a message that her opinions were her own, and we chose to disagree. I also wanted a plate back. She never called me back, and I went to her house to get the plate. I knocked on her door, Whinis opened the door, he invited me in, and I waited for 10 min for her to get off the phone, so I could get my plate back. I just told her that, I don't agree with her opinion, and that's all, give me back my plate.

Unfortunately for you all, I will be rehashing all this for a while in the blog. Too many strange requests and accusations from her for me to truly comprehend. Oh wait it must be that I am not smart enough. The woman says she has an IQ of 167. She's fucking Bill Clinton smart. She's part of the less than 1% of the US population with that high of an IQ. Yup, a high school drop out with a GED, and no secondary education. Seriously if you are that fucking smart, college would be fucking easy, student loans, working at McDonald's, grants, scholarships. It's not like she had her kid in high school, so she missed out on opportunities. She just wasted all her chances. Seriously, no aspirations of bettering herself.

Sorry guys, she was right, I am going to spill my vitriol.

It's not Wisteria Lane

Thursday was a goofy day. It was cold and the water was off as there was road work going on down the road. I just huddled on the sofa in wrapped in the sofa throw and surfed the internet. The day before I had spent the day at Droopy's house. She had a really bad migraine, so I helped out what I could. We had talked about her kid having troubles with Barney. In fact when I left her house Barney was throwing things at Whinis. So I called Droopy when it was the time for the school bus to drop them off. We lost our call, so I figured I'd wait a few minutes and call her back. Soon I heard yelling. I figured it was just kids. Then the yelling began again, and it was really loud. I went to look out the front door and I see Droopy tearing into Enabler. I thought 'Oh Shit' and ran out. It seems that Barney was throwing rocks again, and Droopy saw it all. So she yelled at the kids, and told them if they did it again to Whinis she would do the same to the kids parents or grandmother. Barney was smiling the whole time. Droopy grabbed her son, and hopped on her cart to confront Enabler. Hence all the yelling. Enabler acted like it was the first time Barney did anything wrong. In fact Enabler started to motion her hands as in a 'shooing' motion to Droopy. Which pissed Droopy off. I had to yell at Droopy, that she needed to calm down and either go home, or get in my house to calm down. Which led Enabler to say, "Oh you are on her side." Which pissed Droopy off. Obviously this was not about me and my child, but her child and Barney.

I got them inside my house, and Droopy called the elementary school to complain. While she was on the phone, I saw out the front door, that the culprits were out in the middle of the street. Barney and his aunt, and the 8 year old girl and her mother. I tell Droopy, she better head outside as there is a little conference going on. Well Droopy headed out, and while she was talking to the other mother. Ohio comes up, with the two brothers. It seems the brothers ran up to Ohio's house freaked out that their mother was going to be killed. So Ohio hearing the yelling and having two crying kids she has no idea who they belong to show up on her door, called the cops. When the cop came Barney and aunt leave and head back in their house. Ohio leaves, her work is done. Droopy tells the cop what happened. Whinis confirms everything. Then the cop goes in and talks to Enabler and Barney. While I hope this takes care of the problem, I don't trust them. They have a poor track record from what I've seen.

Where was I? I was in my house. Safe. Sorry this doesn't involve me, and I shouldn't get in it. I've got enough to deal with.

Yesterday I was on the phone with Droopy, and I heard a noise outside. I go out looking for deer. Instead I see a guy with a surveyor's wheel. It seems Baby Mama wants to put up a fence a black chain link fence. I am not happy with that. It's ugly. I talked to the guy for a while, and he was supposed to put a card or a letter head with their number on it for me in my mailbox. I haven't seen it yet. If they do, we will call to complain. A black chain link fence because of their dog. Don't have a dog. It spends most of it's day outside. In the winter when all the foliage is gone, it's gonna be an eyesore. We will have to find out who the owner is and complain. I don't want it. Just because they rent not own, and don't care for the property correctly is not my fault. I am trying to maintain the property value thank you very much.

Drama in the subdivision

Wowie, there's a line drawn in the sand and I got suckered in somehow. Whinis's mom and rough kid's mom had a falling out over rough kid. Rough kid made a mess throwing rasberries in whinis's room. He then lied to whinis's mom that he didn't do anything to the room. Which escalated to name calling and lying. Whinis's mom told me about it all, and I told her that rough kid wasn't to play with Stinky, because he broke Stinky's C02 gun, by mis loading it. This was Goof's decree. I shouldn't have said anything and just waited for Rough kid to come over and I would have let him know at that time. As it was we were just going to avoid the kid for a while and let things blow over with Goof. He figured that the cost of the gun was going to be eaten by us and we weren't going to get another one. Instead Droopy told her.

I don't really like Rough kid. He doesn't listen to adults. Rough kid's mom makes excuses for him. We all make excuses for our kids, but whatever. As it is, I met another neighbor kid's dad, and he basically doesn't like rough kid either. He has no idea I have been talking to Droopy about it all. From what I got, rough kid's mom is blaming Whinis for making all the neighborhood kids not want to play with rough kid. Take a hint lady, find out what your kid is doing. Watch him interact with other kids and adults. Don't let him disrespect you. Take care and don't be so permissive or lax.

So tomorrow Stinky heads off to camp for a week. A whole week without him. What am I gonna do? Close all the drapes and run around the house nekkid. This is the first time that he's gone away someplace that does not involve family. He's never been away from family whether it's my mom or mil, or just a few houses away for a sleep over. It's a big step for us. I know he'll have fun, but I worry about him. The camp counselors are telling us, that there will be no phone calls home unless something happens to him. No news is good news. He's not allowed to bring a cell phone or make calls home. Wow. I hope he will be okay.