Well, I'm not sure if she's considered a pre teen or a full blown scary as shit tempt my baby boy away from the right path teenage southern Baptist girl. Remember I don't trust the religious south. I think they like to bend God's rules to suit their purposes. Stinky came home yesterday with a note. He said it would scare me especially the last paragraph. Of course I'm thinking this applies to school. Oh shit no, and I wish it did.
A love letter from his first girlfriend, the high drama well endowed for an 11 year old girl. Basically stating she still 'loves' (hello, you are 11 this is bullshit, it's hormonal 'like') and she doesn't care if he's an atheist. And this is the kicker! The one that makes me panic. She writes that she has dreamed of marrying her middle school sweetheart. Huh? That scares the shit out of me, and I think Stinky too. Goof thinks it's all funny. I'm freaked by this. Stinky told her that he was not going to marry until he was 30. I told him no kids until 35, if he wants kids that is. So his choice what to do with hormonal girl, but he's never gonna be alone with her, if I can help it, and he's to practice American Dad safe sex. Which led to much laughter from him. If you don't know what I mean, there was an episode where Stan had Francine wrapped up in Saran wrap, and 4 levels of protection going to prevent conception.
So now I sit here and freak out my kid is being corrupted by some hussy.
Showing posts with label puberty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puberty. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Teenagers suck
God, my kid is driving me nutty. Last night Goof had a late day at work. Very stressful, and long. He called and asked if we could go grab takeout for dinner. Fine with me, it was leftover night. So over an hour later, he still wasn't home. I called him and he said he was on the way, and to make it Smokey Bones for dinner. Alrighty then. Grabbed Stinky, and put the dogs down in their room, Goof comes home changes and off we go.
Stinky tells us about his day, his report card, and an interesting tidbit about Babymama's boy Eldest and the new neighbors (we'll get back to that in a minute). Make ourselves comfy at the restaurant, order our appetizers and dinner, and relax for a bit. Appetizers come, it's nachos and their cornbread. As we are digging in, Stinky cries out, "Hey, you are taking all the good stuff!" So I grab a pile and place the condiments on it and put it on his plate. He then puts it back on my plate and says, "I got some, I can serve myself!" WTF? Which led me to complain about teenagers, complaining about not being treated like a kid, then getting pissy when you do. Which led him to laugh at me. The rest of the night was filled with the usual teen angst. The ignore me when I tell him to take out the garbage. The bitch and moan because it's past 9pm and all electronic devices are off. The bitchfest about the hour before bedtime is too long to read (Gee, when you were on restriction, this was all that was available and you appreciated it!) More bitching because it was past bedtime and he wanted to eat. God, he made me want to tear my hair out.
This morning there was more bitching. Choosing an apple and a soda instead of a real breakfast, because he wanted pancakes. When I asked if I should make pancakes, he ignored me and continued bitching. Pancakes made, and more bitching because he wanted to use a disposable hot cup for his hot chocolate instead of a mug. He wanted to take it to school. Hello, no. Those cups are for Goof. He never remembers to bring home the travel mugs, and he pays for the damned cups. Bitching because he had to finish his pancakes, and hot chocolate, then take out the trash he didn't last night. More bitching because Goof took the German Toaster to work. Complaining because the truck has a small cab, anything and everything that came out of his mouth was a complaint. Geez, I need to really shake things up for him. He's living the typical spoiled life. I am gonna make him sleep in the basement tonight if he gives me any grief when he gets home. That ought to straighten him out. He's scared of the basement. It's dark and he's a wimp.
Oh back to the tidbit. Yesterday was the first day of school for the neighbors. They had lived in town and gone to the other middle school. The girl has one class with Stinky. She also told him that Eldest told her, Stinky had tried to kill Fred. Of course Stinky laughed it off. So Eldest's new name is Dramabitch. I can so see what Dramabitch told Babymama.... " And, and, Stinky, he, he threatened Fred, and then he, then he, tried to kill him, and, and, Fred ran away, and, and he yelled at me, but, but, but, I didn't back down, and, and, he didn't touch me." Sure, my kid tried to kill Fred, the one who was picking on Dramabitch, and Stinky stood up for him getting kicked and shoved several times. Dramabitch who stood on our property to watch us eat, to cause shit by laying on the dividing line of the front yards while Stinky was blowing leaves. Goof says it makes sense. If Babymama is such a scared bitch that she calls the cops at any little noise when Kiosk man is not home, and leaves her dog out all day and into the late night to bark, to protect her and annoy the neighborhood, what makes us think that Dramabitch isn't like her. Seriously Babymama is HEFTY. Fall on someone and she does them more harm than herself. I honestly believe a criminal will think twice about accosting her. Women with children tend to get very mama tiger protective. The sheer size of her and with her toddlers in tow, ought to warn criminals away. I've known Nervous Nellys, and they do have a legitimate right to be such, but come on, we live in a really safe neighborhood, trashy because of the hillbillies, but only a mile from the police station.
Stinky tells us about his day, his report card, and an interesting tidbit about Babymama's boy Eldest and the new neighbors (we'll get back to that in a minute). Make ourselves comfy at the restaurant, order our appetizers and dinner, and relax for a bit. Appetizers come, it's nachos and their cornbread. As we are digging in, Stinky cries out, "Hey, you are taking all the good stuff!" So I grab a pile and place the condiments on it and put it on his plate. He then puts it back on my plate and says, "I got some, I can serve myself!" WTF? Which led me to complain about teenagers, complaining about not being treated like a kid, then getting pissy when you do. Which led him to laugh at me. The rest of the night was filled with the usual teen angst. The ignore me when I tell him to take out the garbage. The bitch and moan because it's past 9pm and all electronic devices are off. The bitchfest about the hour before bedtime is too long to read (Gee, when you were on restriction, this was all that was available and you appreciated it!) More bitching because it was past bedtime and he wanted to eat. God, he made me want to tear my hair out.
This morning there was more bitching. Choosing an apple and a soda instead of a real breakfast, because he wanted pancakes. When I asked if I should make pancakes, he ignored me and continued bitching. Pancakes made, and more bitching because he wanted to use a disposable hot cup for his hot chocolate instead of a mug. He wanted to take it to school. Hello, no. Those cups are for Goof. He never remembers to bring home the travel mugs, and he pays for the damned cups. Bitching because he had to finish his pancakes, and hot chocolate, then take out the trash he didn't last night. More bitching because Goof took the German Toaster to work. Complaining because the truck has a small cab, anything and everything that came out of his mouth was a complaint. Geez, I need to really shake things up for him. He's living the typical spoiled life. I am gonna make him sleep in the basement tonight if he gives me any grief when he gets home. That ought to straighten him out. He's scared of the basement. It's dark and he's a wimp.
Oh back to the tidbit. Yesterday was the first day of school for the neighbors. They had lived in town and gone to the other middle school. The girl has one class with Stinky. She also told him that Eldest told her, Stinky had tried to kill Fred. Of course Stinky laughed it off. So Eldest's new name is Dramabitch. I can so see what Dramabitch told Babymama.... " And, and, Stinky, he, he threatened Fred, and then he, then he, tried to kill him, and, and, Fred ran away, and, and he yelled at me, but, but, but, I didn't back down, and, and, he didn't touch me." Sure, my kid tried to kill Fred, the one who was picking on Dramabitch, and Stinky stood up for him getting kicked and shoved several times. Dramabitch who stood on our property to watch us eat, to cause shit by laying on the dividing line of the front yards while Stinky was blowing leaves. Goof says it makes sense. If Babymama is such a scared bitch that she calls the cops at any little noise when Kiosk man is not home, and leaves her dog out all day and into the late night to bark, to protect her and annoy the neighborhood, what makes us think that Dramabitch isn't like her. Seriously Babymama is HEFTY. Fall on someone and she does them more harm than herself. I honestly believe a criminal will think twice about accosting her. Women with children tend to get very mama tiger protective. The sheer size of her and with her toddlers in tow, ought to warn criminals away. I've known Nervous Nellys, and they do have a legitimate right to be such, but come on, we live in a really safe neighborhood, trashy because of the hillbillies, but only a mile from the police station.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
I'm not ready!
Stinky is in the throes of puberty. Yea yea, I don't like it but it's happening. He likes telling me things because he likes the grossed out faces I can't help but make. He thinks it's funny, and Goof just doesn't respond as well. I'm getting tired of him telling me he's got pubes. Yea yea, go ask your dad for a preview of what you'll look like when it's all in.
Bad news is that he's got a girlfriend now. What the hell? He's only 11! A girl in one of his classes told him, she thought he was cute, and asked if he liked her too. His response was pretty good, "I think she's a nice girl." Well that was two weeks ago. He had given up on the crush of the cute girl that lives near us. He actually doesn't know what to do or think about it, why pine for something that won't happen.
This last week, the forward girl asked him to be her boyfriend. So two days later he tells me about this and asks for my opinion. Of course I'm freaking out. What does this mean? Are they gonna hold hands? Kiss? What? He thinks it's a lot of positive gossip. She's a popular girl, and it can only be good for his 'image' God, shoot me now. This hussy only has one class with him, their assigned lunch tables are pretty far from each other. They do ride the bus together, but again assigned seats. She lives in another subdivision.
So the dinner topic was this, and Goof told him no exploration of bodies until 16. I hope that stays true. Yesterday he came home and told me that he accepted her offer. She waited and sat next to him in the gym for their bus. Oh boy. So how long do these things last? A week or two? He thinks she's cute, I don't know how involved this will get. Right now he's been bragging with his friends about having a girlfriend. Perhaps this is all there is. The right to brag. I think I need to watch that series on Discovery Health about puberty again. Gotta refresh my memory.
Thursday I had felt crappy, and had a bit of a headache, came with my period. I took a few Advil and was fine. Friday I woke up feeling crappy too. I dropped Stinky off at school, and went back to bed. It was a drizzly day anyways. Hell happened when I went downstairs to make some coffee and do dishes. The lights made my brain explode. Full on migraine, with nausea and puking. Took a Maxalt, and suffered. I was making a chicken pot pie for dinner. I needed milk. I ended up calling Droopy and she took me to the store to get milk. I couldn't drive while still feeling so nauseous. Bad news she had a bad headache that turned into a migraine also. Her Imitrex shots were misfiring, so she wasn't able to get relief. Her son came over for a Maxalt. I ended up taking another one, and when Stinky came home, he changed and went outside with Whinus to play and stay out of our hair.
I had started to feel a little better, had the fan going, the drapes pulled, all the lights off, house quiet. Then Goof came home. I heard him outside. I had opened the door for him, but he was too slow getting out of the car for me to stand there in the light, so I just closed the front door and went back in my dark kitchen. Goof came in quietly, but then he yells' Hello? Anyone home?' Which made stars blow behind my eyes. I whispered yelled at him to shut up. He was apologetic, and tiptoed around the house for an hour.
I was just exhausted yesterday. But I managed to clean up and make dinner. What I don't get, is that I asked Goof and Stinky to clean up the dinner dishes and all that, so I could go upstairs and sleep some more. Well the dishes are in the sink, and the pie is still on the dining table. Yea that's cleaning up. Especially since Lulu hopped up on the table and helped herself to dinner. She got her teeth brushed for that.
Bad news is that he's got a girlfriend now. What the hell? He's only 11! A girl in one of his classes told him, she thought he was cute, and asked if he liked her too. His response was pretty good, "I think she's a nice girl." Well that was two weeks ago. He had given up on the crush of the cute girl that lives near us. He actually doesn't know what to do or think about it, why pine for something that won't happen.
This last week, the forward girl asked him to be her boyfriend. So two days later he tells me about this and asks for my opinion. Of course I'm freaking out. What does this mean? Are they gonna hold hands? Kiss? What? He thinks it's a lot of positive gossip. She's a popular girl, and it can only be good for his 'image' God, shoot me now. This hussy only has one class with him, their assigned lunch tables are pretty far from each other. They do ride the bus together, but again assigned seats. She lives in another subdivision.
So the dinner topic was this, and Goof told him no exploration of bodies until 16. I hope that stays true. Yesterday he came home and told me that he accepted her offer. She waited and sat next to him in the gym for their bus. Oh boy. So how long do these things last? A week or two? He thinks she's cute, I don't know how involved this will get. Right now he's been bragging with his friends about having a girlfriend. Perhaps this is all there is. The right to brag. I think I need to watch that series on Discovery Health about puberty again. Gotta refresh my memory.
Thursday I had felt crappy, and had a bit of a headache, came with my period. I took a few Advil and was fine. Friday I woke up feeling crappy too. I dropped Stinky off at school, and went back to bed. It was a drizzly day anyways. Hell happened when I went downstairs to make some coffee and do dishes. The lights made my brain explode. Full on migraine, with nausea and puking. Took a Maxalt, and suffered. I was making a chicken pot pie for dinner. I needed milk. I ended up calling Droopy and she took me to the store to get milk. I couldn't drive while still feeling so nauseous. Bad news she had a bad headache that turned into a migraine also. Her Imitrex shots were misfiring, so she wasn't able to get relief. Her son came over for a Maxalt. I ended up taking another one, and when Stinky came home, he changed and went outside with Whinus to play and stay out of our hair.
I had started to feel a little better, had the fan going, the drapes pulled, all the lights off, house quiet. Then Goof came home. I heard him outside. I had opened the door for him, but he was too slow getting out of the car for me to stand there in the light, so I just closed the front door and went back in my dark kitchen. Goof came in quietly, but then he yells' Hello? Anyone home?' Which made stars blow behind my eyes. I whispered yelled at him to shut up. He was apologetic, and tiptoed around the house for an hour.
I was just exhausted yesterday. But I managed to clean up and make dinner. What I don't get, is that I asked Goof and Stinky to clean up the dinner dishes and all that, so I could go upstairs and sleep some more. Well the dishes are in the sink, and the pie is still on the dining table. Yea that's cleaning up. Especially since Lulu hopped up on the table and helped herself to dinner. She got her teeth brushed for that.
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